Going where no name has gone before

In Decatur, Illinois, Shitavious Cook, 15, has been charged with first degree murder in the shooting death of Billy Rutherford, 24.

- end of initial entry -

Kristor writes:

Oh, I think this sort of thing may be more common that one might expect. I myself have encountered a young clerk at Toys R Us wearing a name tag that bore the inscription, “Shitae.” My wife was paralyzed with hilarity when she observed a maitre-d’ and headwaiter struggling to interpret a name on their list, conferring together with mounting concern, only to be interrupted by the diner they were worried about, a black woman who informed them in loud tones, “It’s pronounced, “Shi—théad!” (accent on the second syllable, with the “th” unvoiced, as in “therapy, and with the “i” in “shi” short, as in “hit”).

LA replies:

I have a hard time taking this in, that there’s a person who goes through her life with the name Shithéad. So that whenever someone asks her name, she says, “My name is Shi-théad.” “Uh, how is that spelled?” “It’s spelled s, h, i t, h, e, a d.”

LA writes:

I did a search for “shi-théad” and got three results.

At Yahoo Answers, there is “What are some really uncommon girls’ names?”

One of the answers included a list of strange names including

Shi Théad

Then I found this Twitter conversation:

fiiiis_loves_RB @_feeeezz13 Liz; that rating machine … Man, I miss her and her priceless jokes. -Shi-Thead. -Jonas Brothers South Park. Hahah Her & Ann.

from Twitter for iPhone

neiletrobinson @NevinSpence not as bad as Shithead Johnston (allegedly pronounced: shi-thead). #spellchecknames

from Twitter for iPhone

PimpRain @CassetteCoast how about Bonfilio? Kilo? Shi’thead ?

from txt

Steve_FtwVG @Mamasp00 shi-thead

from TweetCaster

K_Jaee @NasirNasty its better than being named shi’thead. That spells shithead without the hyphen.

from TweetCaster for Android

rainmkr71 @HallatLaw still CANNOT believe someone named their daughter Shi thead! Wow

from Twitter for iPhone

kalabrione @MinRDT3 all very good points! Rabboni is biblical too! Lol anything’s better than shi’thead or Keith Anne. Smh..

from UberSocial for Android

And another Twitter conversation, which seems completely senseless, but includes references to the name.

But if you look for “shi thead” there are many more results.

Lucky Jim writes:

I read in the Daily News a year or two ago about an innocent bystander slain in a ghetto shooting. Her first name was Shitonia.

A quick search didn’t find the article, but did find other young women bearing the same name.

LA to Kristor:
You know, for a brief moment I thought maybe Shi-théad was some kind of Celtic name, because it reminded me of “Sinead.” And it seemed too elaborate and odd even for a black.

Kristor replies:

Elaborate and odd? Man, maybe it’s just because I live in the vicinity of Oakland, but I can tell you that the blacks are really pushing the envelope when it comes to elaboration of oddness. And some of the names they come up with, I must admit, are quite beautiful. But most innovation is lethal, whether in evolutionary biology or human societies (ergo, traditionalism). Almost all the names they invent are atrocious.

The method seems to be, string a few sounds together that you like, with some vaguely Arabic or African sounding syllables in the mix, and if it’s a girl, use the suffix “ia” or the prefix “La.” If it’s a boy, use the prefixes “Ja” or “Le.” Then, try to figure out how it might be spelled. Then, don’t think twice, just go for it.

I bet there’s a gag site somewhere on the web that has a black name generator on it.

LA replies:

Hence “Shitonia.”

A male equivalent would be “Leshiton.”

Gintas writes:

Here is a black name generator.

It requires you to enter a name. I put yours in and out came “Marqueece Usher Anderson.”

Kristor writes:

LOL! I went to the Black Name Generator that Gintas found, and my black name is D’marreio Jeron Dawson! Something about seeing this onscreen made me realize how totally absurd it would feel, actually to have that name. I would never be able to take myself seriously about anything. It’s rather surreal, actually.

Wayne Lutton writes:

Hmmm. I wonder what his friends call him for short.

September 15

D. in Seattle writes:

Kristor said: “I went to the Black Name Generator that Gintas found, and my black name is D’marreio Jeron Dawson!”

I went to the Black Name Generator too, and played with various names. After about 5 minutes of putting normal names in and seeing what comes out the other end, I put in “Barrett John Dawson” and out comes “D’marreio Jeron Dawson”. I probably got a little lucky.

I have no idea if that’s the only normal name that generates that particular black name, and I of course have no idea what Kristor’s name is even though I have enjoyed his comments and replies immensely. But I would advise him that, if he wants to keep his online identity anonymous, he should not use a crude cipher like the Black Name Generator to encrypt his name and make it public, since it is fairly trivial to reverse and decrypt. Or maybe I am being overly paranoid.

Posted by Lawrence Auster at September 14, 2011 10:18 AM | Send

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