, as we all know, is on on a tour of historical national sites on the East Coast. Rick Ungar in a June 3
tells us how, in a perfect combination of Palinesque syntax and Palinesque historical reconstruction, the Lady of Wasilla understands Paul Revere’s ride:
Those of you who are regular readers know that, as a rule, I do not write about Sarah Palin. I stay away from her because I believe she represents the worst of American culture—all flash, no substance.
But to every rule there is an exception—and today is that exception.
Appearing yesterday in Boston during the latest stop on her Summer Vacation Tour, Palin did more than simply step all over Mitt Romney’s announcement- she gave us an important lesson in American history as Palin shared the following information about Paul Revere:
He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t going to be taking away our arms uh by ringing those bells and making sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free and we were going to be armed.
This certainly gives us an entirely new point of view to consider when examining our nation’s founding.
While I had been led to believe that Revere’s historic ride was actually for the purpose of warning our forefathers that the British were coming, it turns out that his midnight ride, complete with ringing bells and warning shots, was really all about letting the English know that we were armed.
No wonder the British lost. They apparently went into the Revolutionary War in the mistaken belief that we would not be armed and, as a result, failed to bring sufficient weaponry of their own.
Fortunately, Revere’s warning apparently arrived too late. It is, after all, a long trip back to London to pick up one’s musket and then return to the colonies to get into the battle.
Of course, Palin is not the only ninny pretending to be a leader of this country without having much understanding of our history. We all recall Michele Bachmann telling a New Hampshire audience how the Revolution began in their state at Concord and Lexington—which, of course, are in Massachusetts.
Then there was Herman Cain’s speech during which he announced his candidacy for the GOP nod to run for President of the United States by saying —
We don’t need to rewrite the Constitution of the United States of America, we need to reread the Constitution and enforce the Constitution…. And I know that there are some people that are not going to do that, so for the benefit of those who are not going to read it because they don’t want us to go by the Constitution, there’s a little section in there that talks about “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.I understand that people sometimes get confused when speaking extemporaneously. When Tim Pawlenty confused Iran and Iraq, I didn’t find it particularly disturbing. Any of us could have made such an error. I can even cut Bachmann a break as she may have had a momentary brain freeze and gotten confused as to what state she was in during her speech. It happens when people spend a lot of time on the road.
The thing is that when you do reread the Constitution, you will find that the words ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” will not be found in that august document. You will, however, find them in the Declaration of Independence.
Of course, how we explain all of Rep. Bachmann’s other gaffes in relating American history is a different matter.
But could you imagine yourself saying that Paul Revere was warning the British? Yes, it could have been one of those, “Oops, I meant to say the Americans … not the British.”
But that is clearly not what happened. Plug the word ‘Americans’ into what Palin had to say and it still makes absolutely no sense.
As for Mr. Cain, one would think that a speech announcing your candidacy to become the leader of the Free World would be considered a pretty important moment in one’s life—hardly a speech that would be given extemporaneously.
Wouldn’t you imagine that Cain—or someone on his staff—would have proofread the speech a few times before delivery and realized they were mixing up the U.S. Constitution and Declaration of Independence?
You get what you pay for, folks.
Here’s the video of Palin’s performance:
UPDATE: Elizabeth Ash wrote the following poem and posted it on the comments section below. I wanted to share it as I think you will enjoy it as much as I did.
Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere,
To warn the Brits, or what? Oh, dear
I cannot think, it’s not quite clear …
I have it now! And I will tell:
He rode, he shot, he rang the bell,
He told the Brits to go to hell
Defiant, proud and shooting swell.
Through the country dark he road
Through fair New Hampshire, so we’re told,
Through field and street, he was right bold
His rifle clutched, a vise-like hold.
“We armed, we’re armed!” he shouted wide,
He rang that bell as he did ride,
He shot the dark from side to side,
Uh, wait, I think that, uh, I lied.
contact Rick at email@example.com