Race crime hoaxer offered White House post

VFR reader Earl has just sent the latest AP story (no link at the moment) on Sharmeka Moffitt, the young Louisiana woman who claimed that the Ku Klux Klan had set fire to her, until the police reluctantly determined that she had done it herself:

Woman Sets Herself on Fire, Gets Job with Administration
AP, October 24, 2012, 4:15 p.m.

A twenty-year-old woman from Winnsboro, Louisiana has been appointed to a high-level post in the Obama administration while recovering from serious burns in her hospital bed. Sharmeka Moffitt sustained multiple third-degree burns when she set herself on fire in an attempt to stage a hate crime hoax [see previous VFR post]. She also scrawled the words “KKK” and “n——er” on her vehicle with toothpaste. She told police that she has been attacked by three men wearing “white hoods,” which she later changed to “hoodies.” Her friends also reported that she was wearing an Obama T-shirt, and that she was raped during the attack.

Police have forensically determined that Moffitt staged the crime, but continue to express their sympathy and to wish her a speedy recovery. “I want to thank the community, who under these stressful times allowed law enforcement to do their job of seeking information, collecting evidence, and following the facts, no matter how unwelcome those facts may be,” Sheriff Kevin Cobb of Franklin Parish said. “Although I think what she did was wrong and had major consequences not only for her, but throughout our community and our country, we need to help individuals like this. In the same way our community came to support her as a victim, I still hope the community will support her emotional and physical recovery.”

Sheriff Cobb’s sympathetic statement about Miss Moffit seems to have triggered the surprise decision by the administration. In a statement before the press in the White House Rose Garden on Wednesday afternoon, President Obama said he was so moved by the plight of the self-mutilated racial hoaxer, and so impressed by the audacity of her hoax, that he was offering her an important position within his administration. While White House press spokesman Jay Carney said after the President’s remarks that the precise nature of the position being offered to Miss Moffitt is classified for reasons of national security, the administration official who recently stepped down from the same job agreed to discuss its nature and duties off the record.

“Within the administration,” the former official told the AP, “this job is sometimes called the ‘Blame-America-First Czar,’ an ironic reference to the late Jeanne Kirkpatrick’s speech at the 1984 Republican Convention in which she said that the Democrats always ‘blame America first.’ Its duties include blaming any crimes committed by leftists, liberals, blacks or Muslims, or indeed any crimes at all, on whites, conservatives, and Christians.”

The former official indicated that he was willing to talk to the press because he was disgruntled over his own firing. He listed some highlights from his tenure in the position, including blaming the Jared Loughner mass murder in Arizona on conservatives; getting Mayor Michael Bloomberg to suggest to the press that Faisal Shazad’s attempted bombing of Times Square was done by the Tea Party; orchestrating the national media story that George Zimmerman’s shooting of Trayvon Martin was symptomatic of an epidemic of white racist violence against young black men; and, most recently, blaming the jihadist military assault on the Benghazi consulate, in which U.S. Ambassador Christopher Stevens was killed, on an obscure amateurish YouTube video posted by a Coptic Christian residing in California. The former official said he also played the key role in organizing the classification of the Fort Hood massacre as a case of workplace violence which had nothing to do with Islam.

“I was let go because of the Benghazi job,” the former official said. “Senior people in the White House said it was my fault that the cover-up had so many holes in it and was exposed so quickly. That was totally unfair. There were so much evidence as to the real nature of the attack that it could not be successfully concealed. It wasn’t my fault. But I’ve been thrown under the bus, despite my past major accomplishments for the administration.”

He also expressed surprise that the White House thought the unlettered Sharmeka Moffitt could do a better job in the position than he. “Perhaps they feel, despite the failure of the Benghazi cover-up and the quick collapse of Moffitt’s own hoax, that the bigger and the more obvious the lie, the bigger the chance they will get away with it. Based on those assumptions, they see Sharmeka as a winner. And who can say, based on the gross lies the administration has gotten away with, they they are wrong?”

Back in Winnsboro, Miss Moffitt remarked to the press from the hospital burn unit, “Thanks for the job offer, President Obama, but I don’t want to move to Washington, even after I recover from my injuries. Could you maybe just give me the title and the salary, while I stay here in Winnsboro? After all, I tried my best to help you get re-elected.”

- end of initial entry -

D. Edward writes:

I think someone is fooling you on this one. Really no link. It also reads like an Onion spoof. I did a search for the story and I found nothing. Just my $0.02.

LA replies:

Of course it’s a spoof, drafted by a reader and then revised and re-written by me.

JM writes:

Reading the remarks of the “former official,” I’m convinced that the article is a parody. The man is a broad, exaggerated caricature of what we on the right think leftists are really up to. Nobody on the left actually thinks or talks like that caricature; they see themselves as heroically honest truth-tellers, especially when they know they’re lying. See The Onion’s clumsy, tediously tendentious caricatures of conservatives for a mirror image of that sort of thing.

Nor do I believe the AP would call anybody a “racial hoaxer.” And I’m very suspicious that it came to you without a link to the AP’s own site or some other known outlet.

It’s a funny and worthwhile parody, but I think it should be labeled as such.

However, the cop’s insane remarks may in fact be a genuine quote.

LA replies:

The parody, at least as I see it, is so obviously a parody—the “news” it reports is so obviously absurd and impossible—that in my humble opinion the average reader should see it very quickly as a parody. As I’ve said before, I also feel that to label a parody at the beginning as a parody destroys the main pleasure of a parody—the reader’s experience of starting to read something believing it to be straight, and then gradually realizing that it is a spoof.

Let me underscore that in not labeling the article as a parody, my purpose was not to fool readers, but to provide them with an enjoyable experience.

As for the sheriff’s statement, it is largely from the news, but altered a bit.

Terry Morris writes:

Good one Earl. But why didn’t you work something into it about the job’s primary purpose being to assure that Auster’s First Law of Majority-Minority Relations is followed, to the dotting of the I’s and the crossing of the T’s, throughout the USSA, where the only thing we all belong to is the government? :-)

D. Edwards replies to LA:
Well, these days the difference between spoof/parody and the truth is exceedingly small. I’m surprised that Sharmeka Moffitt did not blame the Mohammed video! But then I might have Romnesia.

Clark Coleman writes:

I have read this entry and all comments multiple times. The more I read it, the more I get a sneaking suspicion that this story was a parody.

LA replies:

Mr. Coleman is to be congratulated for his exceptional perceptiveness.

October 25

Patrick H. writes:

The parody was superb. I did realize fairly soon that it was a parody and by the time I got to “…he also played the key role in organizing the classification of the Fort Hood massacre as a case of workplace violence which had nothing to do with Islam,” I was laughing out loud.

But to be fair to your commenters who missed that it was obviously a parody, has not the Obama administration veered perilously close to obvious parody itself? Beer Summit, anyone?

In any case, very well done.

Posted by Lawrence Auster at October 24, 2012 06:38 PM | Send

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