Chimpanzees pull man under a fence, drag him for a kilometer, and bite and maul him, leaving him near death
be—dare I use these prohibited words?—savagely violent, animalistically brutal. Indeed, at times chimpanzees behave like—dare I use the simile?—wild chimpanzees on a rampage. Yet naive liberals keep putting themselves in situations where chimpanzees can attack and maul them.
The UK Telegraph reports:
The man had been studying chimpanzee behaviour at the South African reserve of renowned British primatologist Jane Goodall when two of the animals dragged him for almost a kilometre, under a fence and almost a kilometre into their enclosure.
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Paramedics said the man had been left in a critical condition after the “frenzied” assault, in which he suffered serious wounds and multiple bites.
Malcolm Pollack writes:
That’s one of your funniest items ever.
Were I not so worn out from this heat I would expand it into a multi-point advisory piece à la Derbyshire.
Ben M. writes:
“Yet naive liberals keep putting themselves in situations where chimpanzees can attack and maul them.”
How can this be? We share the same genetic pool. Men and chimps descended according to Darwin from the same arboreal ancestor. From where does their animosity towards us come if we differ from them genetically by just one percent? Aren’t we family? Don’t they see themselves in us? Just look at any portrait of Charles Darwin—the facial and hair (sideburns) resemblance with chimps is astonishing. Our whole being just screams at them—you are us and we are you, embrace us, brothers and sisters. Mother Nature (Gaia) compels us to get along. Oh chimp, do you not see your face and image in us? Let us come together; embrace and parse our common genetic destiny. Do not destroy your Connecticut sister’s face ever again. Look upon us chimps and gaze at the step upward that we have become on your behalf.
Ben M. writes:
Lawrence, do you know why both Anglican bishops and chimps are called primates? Is there a good answer for this?
Ben M. continues:
“The man had been studying chimpanzee behaviour at the South African reserve of renowned British primatologist Jane Goodall.”
Posted by Lawrence Auster at June 29, 2012 07:59 PM | Send
What a lovely liberal name—Goodall. Everything is good. Everyone is good. Good all!
When I was in high school she was one of the saintly figures of science. Like Mother Theresa, she had sacrificed her all to spend her life with primates (not the Anglican type). It seems as if her studies of the primate (not the Anglican type) all resolve to a few principles. Primates (not the Anglican type) are sociable animals, good to their kin, love their babies and work together. We heard these lessons and her conclusions for weeks on end until we understood thoroughly that we are not the only ones that are sociable, good to our kin, love our babies and work together. Science as sociology. A whole lifetime spent learning how sociable primates are (not the Anglican type). And then this human (a male!) comes along and in one day destroys her canonical knowledge (not the Anglican type) …