Obama’s real speech

Paul K. sends this:

OBAMA’S HEALTH CARE SPEECH, CONDENSED

The economy is bad because of Bush. It is pulled back from the brink of disaster because of me. It’s still going to be bad for a while. Because of Bush. It’s time to look to the future.

Sometimes people are treated badly by insurance companies. That’s un-American. Why can’t we be more like the rest of the world?

If you have insurance, you’ll be able to keep it. If you don’t, that’s bad, because people who have insurance have to pay for you. That’s not fair to the people who pay insurance. Really, it’s kind of socialistic. So, I’ll make you buy insurance, unless you can’t, in which case I’ll make other people buy it for you.

I would never do anything that would run up huge deficits. Honest. Also, when they’re not stealing your tonsils and hacking off your feet just for the fees, doctors are pretty good people.

There’s waste, fraud and abuse in health care, which is why it needs to be taken over by the government.

People who say bad things about my health care plan are liars and dreadful human beings. There needs to be more civility in this discussion. Bush caused 9-11. People who say bad things about my health care plan are trying to scare people, and everybody’s going to die if we don’t get this thing passed now.

My office has been open to my evil-mongering opponents.

Let’s do this for the bloated, corrupt corpse of Teddy Kennedy. He knows the sheer terror and helplessness of coming to and realizing you’ve left someone to drown in your automobile. It’s the American way.

I want to be historic, and if you don’t let me, I’m going to stomp my foot take my teleprompter and go home.

The End.

Posted by Lawrence Auster at September 11, 2009 01:45 AM | Send